A tornado of sharks
and a full surrender
This morning a sunbeam found its way to me in the crevice of a curtain; i’ve woken early to sneak in some time for writing.
Three manicured palm trees overhead sit next to the lava rocks that jut out in various angles; They remind me that sharp truths are everywhere if you’re looking for them. The water reaches up lapping over dry porous rocks; sunbeams slowly creeping to cover them; the water is true blue getting lighter and deeper as you follow your vision to the horizon. Steadied ripples move toward the sun; pushed by the same gust of wind that swings me ever so slightly on this hammock.
It has been weeks since I’ve written; and I make time this morning to ground myself in the now before diving into a full body and mind thought-scan. In the last week I’ve chosen to revel in that divine moment of the possibilities. I see them laid out for me; not one of which I would or could have thought I might have a year ago.
And now I let the full mind wander into a small adventure:
Milton sipped his favorite 98% all natural flavored Grape Juice and looked up at the sky; the clouds were looking funny today. He quickly spied a humpback whale, cupcake, and his Aunt Genie’s walker. The patch of lines between his eyes deepened becoming more noticeable as he played with a thought in his mind. It was 11:15 am and he sat on the ugly green bench near the basketball court probably catching splinters with his sweatpants. “No backsies.” he recited over and over again. The first time he had said it to himself slowly thinking if there was a hidden message, it would reveal itself in this way like the movies.
No.
He knew that word, sure enough. It was the opposite of yes! It meant that usually Milton could not play, or fidget, or watch tv. He nodded his head sharply and silently before bringing up the next word in his mind:
backsees
Now what the heck was that? The back of what? What does the back see? Surely, his back didn’t see anything - and when he looked at Kevin or Brians back he didn’t notice anything special either. But Madi had practically been freaking out when she shouted it at him before running away. Ah. Madi. He had liked Madi for a few weeks now. Back when she was nice, but since Tuesday after the 2nd recess bell when he grabbed her hand in line he felt like she changed into a very different Madi. She always wanted something now and these days when she came toward him, his body felt like it was getting smaller. Then there was her “big sister Jenny…” Ugh. He was so tired of hearing about Jenny! Madi’s big sister Jenny had a lot of opinions — and those opinions were always about giving something to Madi! He had been okay with it at first. Sure, what was a heart note, an extra Caprisun — but then Madi’s big sister Jenny had said that Milton should give Madi his shiny sticker of the shark swirling in a tornado — he couldn’t believe he had handed it over like no big deal!
Who was HE turning into??
The same night he gave away his sticker he had a nightmare that the Great White tried to eat him.
And when he woke up he realized Madi didn’t even like sharks — or tornadoes for that matter!
AND it didn’t matter what Madi liked anymore, because Milton certainly did not like her anymore either.
But what was no backsies?
What did it mean?
Did it mean he would ever see his shark tornado again?
He guessed, probably not.
